I was staying with Georgie boy.
I was getting drunk with Georgie boy at home.
I was smoking 2 packets of Dunhill Lights a day.
I was starting a new chapter of my life.
I was working in Chillipadi where I met a bunch of great friends.
I hung out with a new group of friends especially those from Chillipadi.
I was studying my ass off for my finals.
I bought 2 pairs of shoes for my birthday.
I bought my first camera.
I was quite close to Mindy.
I was betrayed by someone.
I was f*cking upset over someone.
I was f*cking disappointed with someone.
I realised who my true friends are.
I went through depression for the first time.
Today:
I'm no longer staying with Georgie boy anymore.
We still drink in clubs most of the weekends.
I am smoking Malboro Lights and trying hard to quit.
The new chapter of my life is still very interesting.
I no longer working at Chillipadi anymore.
I hang out with different group of friends.
I am still trying to study hard for my finals.
The 2 pairs of shoes I bought looks like I've been wearing it for 10 years.
I barely touch my camera.
I hardly talk to Mindy anymore.
I dare say that I'm completely over that "someone".
I realised friends are really precious in life.
I think I'm going through depression again.
Also, a year ago today, my life have been better since.
I dare not say I'm damn happy now, but at least I would say that I am much happier than a year ago.
I was so depressed that I could have killed myself, believe or not.
Thanks to a bunch of true and good friends, I was given strength and support to hold on in life.
There are things in life that happen and you have no one else but your friends and you just had to trust and depend on them.
I've been into the rave scene for some period of time, going to a rave wasn't such a big thing.
Until a year ago today, I went for a rave that changed my life.
It was God's Kitchen.
The music, the company, the atmosphere, the "substance" was fantastic.
It was my first time that night.
Somehow, it made me think of how hard my parents worked to bring me up to what I am now.
I dare to say that the "substance" somehow saved my life and my future.
It made me think so hard about whether it was worth being so f*cking depressed over such individual.
Today, I am going to that rave again.
Time flies. It really does!
A lot of things have changed.
The people that I hung out with a year ago and today are differnt.
Sometimes I really wish that time could just stop during that period of my life.
I wish I could get to know them better.
But, that's just life.
It's never the way you want it to be.
I don't know why am I blogging about this.
It's 6am in the morning and I'm sobering up from the alcohol I abused earlier.
It was a small celebration of my 21st and also the job offer from KPMG Singapore.
It's great news isn't it?
Getting a job in 1 of the Big Four accounting firms.
I should be over the moon.
But I'm not.
Instead, I am more confused and upset, more like depressed.
Ruben once told me that never to have too many options in life.
It makes sense now.
Too many options will only confuse yourself.
Or rather making yourself more emo.
